When it comes to relationships, there are no rules. Sometimes people seem to be seeking someone who is very similar to them in every way (which includes having the same age), but you will also see couples of people who are different from each other. Indeed, there are a lot of relationships built on complementarity. Relationships where differences are enhanced and used as catalysis for happiness and new learnings. And among these differences, there is the age gap. It is quite common to see people from different ages dating these days, and generally, this is mostly older men getting into relationships with young women and not the contrary. So why is it that so many young women are attracted to older men? And how do these relationships work?
The reason why we often see young women dating older men is that younger men are often too immature, too selfish, and too afraid to start a serious relationship. Indeed, most women are looking for a serious relationship, and they know that they will not find it easily with a younger man. Younger men are still discovering themselves, still learning about what they like and don’t like and who they are. In other words, they are in a point in their life where they are too insecure about themselves and about what they want to be able to start a serious relationship with someone that is right for them. They have a huge thirst for adventures, for meeting new women all the time in order to discover what they prefer and in order to prove themselves and to their friends that they can seduce many different women. They are generally simply too unstable and dependent emotionally to build a healthy relationship with someone. On the other end, mature men already had all these experiences! They already know exactly what kind of women they like and what kind of women is right for them.
They understood how important and fulfilling it is for a man to build a solid and meaningful relationship and they are looking for someone with a great compatibility to start something serious with. Since they have more experience, they know better how to satisfy a woman how to treat her right and what mistakes they should avoid since they already made these mistakes. Indeed, you may know the following saying: “You can never make the same mistake twice because the second time you make it, it is not a mistake, it is a choice”. Consequently, because women tend to be more mature than men regardless of their age, they tend to be attracted to older men. Another obvious reason why women are attracted to older men is the fact that they can offer them a much better lifestyle than younger men. They are completely independent financially, and they can afford to go to the restaurant regularly, to go anywhere they want with their car, they can invite women to trips all around the world if they want to,. And if they want to have a child, they are ready to support it!
Even if older men are generally more mature than younger men, it does not mean that they will all be right for you. So if you want to spot Mr. Wrong and try to avoid getting into a relationship with him, you should pay attention to a few things. Firstly, make sure that you don’t both have very different goals for the future. Indeed, what if your partner already knows that he wants 3 kids and you are not ready to make these kinds of choices? What if you want to focus on your career, and he wants to start building a family because it is time for him? There could be a huge problem right away with your relationship. Another thing that you should pay attention to right from the beginning is the following question: do we share the same values? Because if you don’t, even if you are both looking for a serious relationship, it could be a complete disaster. What if one of you is mainly interested in making money, working restlessly to show the world how good he is while the other person prefers a simple life away from materialistic abundance and superficial objectives? What if one of you wants to travel all around the world and the other one prefers to stay near his family? These differences regarding your values could be simply fatal for your couple! And the last thing that you should definitely take into account is the capacity of your potential partner to make compromises. If someone is not ready to make any compromise for you, then you can be sure that the relationship will always be one way and that you will end up frustrated. Even if it does not bother you at the beginning, you will see that it can easily break a relationship later if you have to face some problems together. So try to find someone who is able to compromise!
For some women, it can be scary to start a relationship with an older man who has never been married. If a man is over 40, for instance, and has never been married, society created a stigma around him. Why has he never married? Is he an eternal Casanova? Is he unable to commit? Is he unable to make a woman happy? Even if these concerns are understandable, you should get the chance to learn more about this person before jumping into conclusions. Indeed, what if he spent the majority of his life focusing on his carrier? What if he was not ready to commit, but he finally feels ready now? What if he is against marriage for philosophical reasons but not against commitment at all? When you think about it, there are a lot of perfectly valid reasons why a man will still be single at 40. So if you found someone you like who is in this situation, try to learn more about him and talk to him openly about it in order to know if this would be possible or not for you to start a serious relationship with him. You might be surprised!
To conclude, whether you are a young woman interested in an older man or a young man interested in an older woman, don’t let the age gap scare you! There are a lot of people living fulfilling, exciting, and happy relationships in spite of the age difference! Just make sure that you are choosing the right person: someone with the same goals as you, the same values, and a compatible personality.